I Shall Not Pass This Way Again
From the Daily Illini.
The author is no longer known.
And it came to pass.
Early in the morning toward the last day of the semester,
There arose a great multitude smiting the books and wailing.
And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth,
For the day of judgment was at hand
And they were sore afraid, for they had left undone
Those things which they ought to have done,
And they had done
Those things which they ought not to have done
And there was no help for it.
And there were many abiding in the dorm
Who had kept watch over their books by night,
But it availed them naught.
But some were who rose peacefully,
For they lad prepared themselves the way
And made straight paths of knowledge.
And these were known
As wise burners of the midnight oil.
And to others they were known as "curve raisers".
And the multitude arose
And ate a hearty breakfast.
And they came unto the appointed place
And their hearts were heavy within them.
And they had come to pass,
But some to pass out.
And some of them
Repented of their riotous living and bemoaned their fate.
But they had not a prayer.
And at the last hour there came among them
One known as the instructor; and they feared exceedingly
He was of the diabolical smile,
And passed papers among them and went his way.
And many and varied
Were the answers that were given,
For some of his teachings had fallen among fertile minds
While others had fallen flat.
And some they were who wrote for one hour,
Others for two.
But some turned away sorrowful, and many of these
Offered up a little bull
In hope of pacifying the instructor
And these were the ones who had not a prayer.
And when they finished,
They gathered up their belongings
And went their way quietly each in his own direction,
And each vowing unto himself in this manner:
"I shall not pass this way again"